Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is it because I queefed?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
