grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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