The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
