You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
