boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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