I need help removing her.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
