Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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