So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He did a backflip because drugs
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