Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
