Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
