I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
