i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck