i think my mom watched the whole time
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus