it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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