If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
