Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
