There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
