The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
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Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
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Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position