please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
