3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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