I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Houston, we have a squirter
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
