Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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