i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
