She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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