Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
