Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
