I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
