Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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