please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
