but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize