I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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