The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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