Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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