She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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