he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
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Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
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Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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