I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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