we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
