I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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