Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
