i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
