kristin has been a bad kristin
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
