If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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