I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
you inspire me to be a worse person
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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