once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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