dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
