matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I forget how to act sober
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
