The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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