she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
