so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
