Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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