I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
