My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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