Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
