I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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