I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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