I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Pappa wants mamma naked
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
