It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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