I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize