You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
