Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
