your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
